The Santa Report
Think you're busy this time of year? Huh! Just imagine what
it's like for Santa. That's exactly what a UK web site called Malehealth did
with a "Father Christmas: Health Report." After an annual physical exam, Santa's doctor flagrantly
ignored confidentiality guidelines when he opened up St.
Nick's medical records for all to see. ------------------------------------------------------------
One tough night
------------------------------------------------------------ The immediate concern of Santa's MD is the long list of
daunting health hazards that Santa is subject to. This list
includes: * Risk of hypothermia and frostbite in extreme northern and
southern latitudes.
* Altitude sickness when flying above 3,000 meters without a
pressurized cabin.
* Given the extremely heavy workload on Christmas Eve,
coupled with a punishing deadline, the inevitable stress and
fatigue may cause mood swings and increase the risk of
accidents.
* Exposure to chimney soot may create skin and lung
problems.
* Negotiating rooftops, climbing up and down chimneys, and
heavy lifting increase Santa's risk of back injuries. Hey, no one said this job was cake. ------------------------------------------------------------
Not getting any younger
------------------------------------------------------------ But here's the impressive part: The doctor's report puts the
year of Santa's birth at 280 AD, which means that next year
he'll celebrate his 1,725th birthday. The MD notes that his
patient has exceeded the life expectancy of the average
European male by well over 1,600 years. Obviously Santa's doing something right. Sure, he might be
carrying a little too much weight, but when it comes to
longevity he's a champ. So, Santa, whatever it is that's been working for you, keep on
doing it. And when you get to my house this year I'll have a
nice cup of tea waiting for you. (Uh… you ARE bringing that Ravens jersey I asked for,
right?) If you'd like to see Santa's full medical report, the web site is
malehealth.co.uk. **************************************************************
ULTIMATE HEALTH - 100% RISK FREE! Discover the ultimate natural healing program that can help
you: * Cleanse your arteries
* Cancer-proof your cells
* Relieve inflamed joints
* Restore your natural energy
* Erase aches, pains, and other health worries forever… HSI panelist Dr. Martin Milner, President and Medical
Director of The Center for Natural Medicine, unveils the
results of a decade-long project…in a program so
revolutionary we've taken all the risk to give you all the
benefit. Transform your health once and for all. Your Personal Program for Health and Well Being!
**************************************************************
…and another thing
Your Christmas tree may contain compounds that can treat
arthritis. Researchers in Finland report that extract from the bark of
the Scotch pine (the biggest selling Christmas tree in the
U.S.) have anti-inflammatory compounds that could be
developed for pain relief associated with arthritis. Pine bark? Does that ring a bell? In several e-Alerts I've told you about Pycnogenol, a pine
bark extract harvested from a coastal forest in southwest
France. A natural antioxidant, Pycnogenol contains a variety
of anti-inflammatory polyphenols that have been shown to
promote good heart health. In fact, for hundreds of years,
European healthcare practitioners have used pine bark
extracts to treat a wide range of health problems. During the middle ages, Europeans decorated pines and other
trees for the feast of Adam and Eve on December 24th.
Maybe they knew more about those trees than we give them
credit for. On behalf of myself and everyone at the Health Sciences
Institute, we wish you a warm and happy holiday season. To Your Good Health, Jenny Thompson
Health Sciences Institute **************************************************************
DRIVE OUT TOXINS AND FEEL BRAND NEW Revolutionary new program that could end YOUR 'hopeless
hurts' forever! If you've ever suffered terrible headaches…or
uncontrollable joint pain… If you've ever felt listless and
sapped of energy…or immobilized by colon cramps… I'll bet
you've wondered hundreds of times…WHY ME??? But it's not
just you. It's an epidemic. Millions of Americans are going
to their doctors, complaining of these symptoms, only to hear
them say 'live with it.' Don't make your body muddle through
for even one more day, Learn more about the ultimate healing
program, visit: 'I'm Brand New'! ************************************************************
Sources:
"Father Christmas: Health Report" Malehealth, 12/18/00,
malehealth.co.uk
"Christmas Trees Could be Used for Pain Relief" The Detroit
Free Press, 12/16/04, freep.com | 
